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I am now supporting, at least partially, two people.  My mom has degenerative disk disease and was forced to retire early.  The process of getting her on disability in order to receive health insurance is arduous and slow.  She's moved in with me so I can better care for her.  My boyfriend has also moved in.  He's working for a new radio station that is long on talent and short on funds right now.  He's working that job and two others, but right now it's just not enough and he's lost his apartment.  I'm helping him when I can (and as much as he'll let me).  I'm also trying to help out his exwife and their child.  She's out of work and they're struggling. He does what he can for them, but he has so little right now.  It breaks my heart to hear his daughter say stuff like, "When we had money, we could...." She's a sweet, sweet girl and is adapting well, but I worry.  She's getting to the age when "stuff" matters.  I remember the hurt of not having the same things/brands as the other girls.  I can only hope that it's less pronounced in a city school than it was in my suburban one. 

I am glad that I can help the people I love (yes, that includes his ex.  She's a great person!), but I am so far in debt and my house needs so many things that I'm scared all of the time.  My bi-polar disorder is acting up due to the stress. 

This will pass. Working together I think we'll all make it.  It just will be awhile in coming.  I continue to make adjusments in what was once a comfortable, middle-class life.  I am trying hard to come to grips with the fact that my habits must change.  I can do it though.  I'm strong and resourceful.  This is doable.

I travel for work and my job requires me to have a credit card.  This card is paid off every month.  I have several other debts that I would like to get debt management with somehow, but I am unsure as to how to do that without having to cancel all of my credit cards.  I cannot keep my job without the credit card. 

Is there anyone out there that knows of a way to handle this??  I'm not behind on anything yet, but I will be within the next couple months.  I'm really, really scared right now.

I am not nearly as bad off as most people I know.  I am blessed. I have a home, a great job, good friends, and a caring family.  I volunteer in my spare time for an organization that is outstanding. I needed to say all this first.

So, why am I here?  Because I need help getting to one of my last major goals: financial stability.  I owe quite a bit due to a variety of circumstances.  I left my husband in 2006 after his serious temper turned into violence towards me.  It wasn't serious, but I had bruises after the encounter.  I had promised him to work with him on the marriage for 3 months, but after that I was done.  I will not accept violence towards me - ever.  Thankfully we had no children.  He kept the dog and the house (I couldn't afford it even if I wanted it) and I kept my things, some of the furniture and our four cats.  I accepted responsibility for half of the debt and asked only half of the meager equity in return.  I did not ask for support, or part of his pension or his 401K.  While I was entitled to at least a portion of these things, I wanted to make it on my own.  I am a college gradutate with the ability to earn my own money and did not feel right taking what he had earned - nor did I have the money for an attorney to fight with him about it, and he would have fought bitterly.

Soon afterwards, I accepted a much better position in a city 200 miles away.  I was able to buy a small house with a 100% mortgage (just days before the bottom fell out of these types of loans.) I am able to pay this mortgage without a problem, it's a pretty low payment. I have, however, made mistakes.  I got a consolidation loan for some bills, but ended up using the money on the house and on other expenses.  I bought my charming little house on emotion, not logic and ended up with a house that has potential - but needs more work than I had bargained for.  I thought I would be protected by the home warranty, but most of what I have requested help on with the warrenty is work that the former owners did themselves, poorly, and improper installation is not covered under the warranty.  I have put around $15,000 into the house since I bought it.  The consolidation loan and my 401K have been used for that mainly.

What I need is information on how to obtain a $50,000 low interest loan to consolidate my bills and fix what still needs to be fixed on the house (electrical, front door, roof mainly.  I'll live with the leaky basement for now.)  I also need advice on hiring a good accountant.  Due to many issues, including traveling for work once a month and being bi-polar II, I am not good with keeping up with my money and expenses.  I would prefer to have a professional handle things and then get what's left for day-to-day living.  My bills would get paid, I'd be able to save, and I'd still have money for life's little luxuries.  I would have this person handle my mother's finances too - she's moving in with me at the end of May and is worse with money than I am.

I have tried to contact credit counseling places and debt consolidation companies.  Some of them said I'm in too GOOD of a position to help, or that I make too much. Some will either ruin my credit or will cause/require all of my credit cards to be closed.  I cannot do that because I require a card with at least $5000 on it for my monthly travel expenses.  I will not be able to keep my job without that. 

So, that's my story.  There's much more to it, but those are the basics.  I'm not in a bind right this minute, but I will be quite soon if I cannot figure out a solution to this problem.  The payments for these debts are currently running me about $1500/month.  My mortgage (with insurance/tax escrow included) is about $700.  My car payment is about $400. Student loan payments are $300.  Then there's the gas, electricity, water, phone/internet (necessary for my job when I work from home), garbage, sewer district, personal property taxes, etc. As I said before, I have a good job, I bring in about $3200/mo net after taxes and insurance.  I worked so very hard to get through college.  The pressure of being married, working 30 hours, and going to school threw me into a 2 year episode with my bi-polar and made it a difficult struggle.  But I did it, and I now am earning what I'm worth.  What I need now is to be able to feel like I'm in a better place, but without getting a grip on my finances I still feel like I am failing. 

 Thank you for any help or advice you can give.  It is deeply appreciated.